Let's quickly review the process of how and why we respond to stressors. The following reflexive coping mechanisms are automatic responses that are not within our conscious control. They are typically the first reaction to an either actual or perceived threat. Stressors excite three parts of our brain: the amygdala - our emotional center, the hippocampus - responsible for memory, and our prefrontal cortex - responsible for regulation of emotions and impulses. Threats will typically ramp up the amygdala which sends signals to our hypothalamus and activates our nervous system. This can release stress hormones that increase heart rate and blood flow, speed up breathing, and heighten our senses. The prefrontal cortex will actually be suppressed which can increase the chances of impulsivity. And most interesting to me, is that it also reduces activity in the hippocampus which can make it harder to discern between an active threat and a traumatizing memory.
Now there are many different ways to break down the different responses to stress or trauma so we are going to discuss the four main categories, how we can identify them, and what we may be able to do to cope effectively with each. First the four main categories are: fight, flight, freeze and - some would consider - fawn.
First let's talk about the fight response - this is typically a response that prompts action. It can be known as the approach response and can be identified with behaviors like grinding teeth, tense muscles, raised voice, property destruction, and combativeness. It might be displayed as someone being snappy or having a short fuse. It can feel like urgency, anger or irritability. To cope with this response you can try to release physical tension through mindful movement like exercise.
Next is the flight response - this can be seen as an avoidance response with the main goal to disengage from the threat. This can be identified with behaviors like self-isolation, nonconfrontation, or distraction like substance abuse, excessive screen time, or overworking. It may be displayed as someone ghosting, cancelling or walking away. It can feel like overwhelm, a desire to escape, and avoidance. To cope with this response you can use grounding activities like yoga to try to stay present or seek social connection.
The third response is freeze - this is a response that is prominently displayed as dissociation or denial. Although this can be a good opportunity to assess a situation and its proper response, it is more common to become inaction. This can be described as a mix of hyper and hypo-arousal simultaneously, almost like stepping on the gas and the brake at the same time, and can often be a mix of the fight and flight response. It is characterized by behaviors like ignoring the problem, utilizing toxic positivity, trying to suppress or minimize negative emotions, or binge-eating. It can feel like overwhelm, indecisiveness, restlessness, scrolling, anxiety, or procrastination. Coping mechanisms can include gently engaging in your senses like a scented candle or a warm bath to bring yourself back to your body, social interaction in small doses, or creating time and space for yourself.
There are a handful of social responses to stress, we will only discuss the most common which can be considered the fawn response. This can be identified by someone being overly helpful or agreeable, often to their own detriment as they abandon their own boundaries - like getting the wrong order at a restaurant but not saying anything as to avoid offending anyone. Someone may be overly-apologetic, a workaholic, self-blaming, excessively complimentary, or trying to make themselves seem smaller or less intimidating. The idea is to meet the needs of others around to diffuse any threat and can result in physical symptoms like lockjaw. Effective coping mechanisms could include private, self-reflective activities like journaling to reconnect with one's own wants and needs.
Now that we have discussed the four main stress responses we should acknowledge that there is no one response that is better than another, they are initial and automatic responses so the ultimate goal is to be able to re-engage your prefrontal cortex and let reason, not emotions, dictate your decisions and responses, and it is a practiced response. The more often you are able to identify and intercept this initial response and come up with an effective coping mechanism the better you can respond to a similar stimulus in the future. Also keep in mind that some situations may dictate different responses so it can be important to identify relationships between stressors and their responses so that you can best handle them moving forward. Socially if you can identify or have conversations with those close to you about their stress responses you may also be able to communicate better what you can do for each other in these situations.
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